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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought filming a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?